Don't Look

Matthew 5:27-28
 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’  But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

I just had a cashier tell me "I'm married but I still look, I don't touch but I look." :-(

This made me sad. She was speaking about the gentleman in front of me in her line. I'm not trying to point out her sin at all but yesterday the Lord reminded me that sin starts in the mind.

The enemy who is always looking to trip us up throws darts in our mind, if we don't throw it out right away you better believe it's going to turn into something bad. Now, don't mistake me I have "looked" too. Married and unmarried and I am sad that I have done this. Sometimes I glance and then turn right away or while at the gym I try and keep my head down. It's not the first look but the second and it's the heart guys....

If the enemy plants an idea in our mind and we think twice about it eventually it goes to our heart. Jesus clearly states if it's thought about about it's sin. I deliberately committed 2 sins this week that I know I ran right into. I thought about why I did this when I knew it was wrong. After thinking about it I realized I played with the thought for a bit before committing the action :-/ that is kind of scary.

Okay, so we know that none of us our without sin and we realize we all need a Savior but it doesn't mean we should go on sinning. And with Christ we have the power to resist temptation. We reap what we sow friends so let's take caution to that. Married or un married don't look!!! Don't play with the impure thoughts the enemy throws at you. Make all your thoughts obedient to Christ.

I'm writing this from my car because I needed to get this little message out :-)

A Time For Everything

Happy Fall friends! There is something about the colors of those leaves that make my heart happy. I'm not sure why but fall is my favorite time of the year. I love pumpkin coffee, pumpkin sweet treats and I love the way the wind brings a cool calm breeze. Summer is fun and exciting but right around this time a year I'm ready for homemade soup, my sweats, fireplace and cuddles with my kids.

God didn't leave anything that we need to know out of His word and instruction for us. As the seasons change 4 times out of the year it's always easier to see them come and go however I was wondering today why when seasons in our life change we have a harder time adjusting....

I'm not sure why, so you won't get the answer from me but a few thoughts are that we are creatures of habit and when things stay the same we connect them as good. And another thought is season change means we have to change too :-/ and sometimes that's just hard. Getting out of our own comfort is not always the easiest thing for any of us.

Can I share a secret with you? Being single for me has become habit. It's become comfortable. What was once a sad, depressing, I can't wait until I'm married season has now become a seasoned filled with "Lord I love you, and I love my singleness with you."

My short years that I have been in this love relationship with Christ I have learned to ask Him to help me as the seasons change. I've also asked him to give me contentment with Him in all times and seasons no matter what shall come to pass. Finding who we are In Christ and what we should be doing is so important in our relationship with Him. Sometimes we can get so use to just asking Him for things we forget to ask Him what we can be doing to bring glory and honor to Him.

Don't get me wrong, we are saved by grace and not by works. Us working for the kingdom doesn't mean He loves us more it just shows an outward affection of what His love has done inwardly.

So my sweet friends as we enjoy the season of Fall and sip on our pumpkin lattes and burn pumpkin spice candles in our home I hope and pray that we will ask our Father what it is He has for us to do this next season of our life. Maybe for some He is calling you to step up and serve in ministry, maybe He is asking you to home school your children or even start a bible study. Maybe He wants you to begin writing or maybe even just to sit and Be Still.... only you know where the Lord is calling you my prayer is that no matter where it is you will trust and obey finding contentment, peace and joy in the season. Enjoy this next season sweet friends I love you all!

His Love For Us is Unchanging

Happy Wednesday sweet friends. I'm so thankful for the rain that has washed our land these past 2 days. It's been so refreshing and a break from the dry heat that has been present. Rain isn't my favorite weather however Monday night I prayed and asked the Lord to please send it along with a breeze. I'm so thankful He is a God who listens to the cry of His people. Today during home school we caught the breeze through our home with a little Fall chill. Fall is my absolute favorite!

So here is whats on my mind....

I don't think it's ever an easy thing to get a glimpse of your own heart however I do believe it's necessary. It's when we see the junk that lies within, is when we can see our great need for Him. I understand we are seen differently by God (and I love that by the way) but I also think if we thought we were perfect then we'd begin to lose our great need for a Savior. Every other religion is based off of works. How many great deeds one has done, how one sins less, and how often one serves and how good you are and how "perfect" you can be. For crying out loud who can live like that?!? Not me!

Why is it though that we see this within the Christian faith. First we realize our great need for Christ which is why we get saved and then shortly after we begin adding man made rules and laws as to how we should live. Please, do not get me wrong.... Paul tells us just because we live off of grace doesn't mean we should go on sinning. Also, we learn it's a sanctification process but Remember we are saved by God's GRACE and our faith. We display our faith by trusting that Jesus came to die for us personally and without Him we'd be separated from the Father for eternity. But you see the rest is all God. It wasn't us who bore the sins of the world it was Him. 

Understand friends, He is the one sanctifying us and changing us as we enter into this love relationship with Him. And that's what has me in awe today. I sit here reflecting the woman I was the woman I still choose to be at moments and the mistakes I know I'll make in this fleshly body and I'm amazed that He loves me. His love for me will NEVER EVER CHANGE! how many of us can say we love in that way? I know for a fact I love my children. Whoever they choose to be I'll love them. I may not agree and I will never condone a sinful lifestyle but I'll always love them and hope they'd change. Today as I was praying I realized I don't love others in that way. Not always anyway. I want to be more like Him. I want to see people in their messy lifestyle and flesh and I want to love em like Jesus. 

Would you join me in prayer,

Lord help us love people the way you do. Help us realize who we are without you and who we are with you. Help us to accept your grace and offer that same grace to others. Change us Father to more and more like you each day. Set a fire within our hearts so that we might spread your name everywhere we go. In Jesus name Amen!

Whispers From God

I hope as you read this blog post you are doing well. If you aren't I pray that your joy remains the same no matter what season you find yourself in. God still sits on the throne. For me as I write this that is some really good news. Life happens, we make mistakes, we hurt people, people hurt us, our kids don't listen, we lash out in anger, family problems arise and sometimes life just stinks here on earth. I'm so glad that we are just passing by. I'm thankful that the Lord declares us as sojourners. Meaning this is not our home. Nevertheless friends we must not forget who God is calling us to be while here on earth.

I don't know about you but I learn so much from my kids. For instance, I am able to see myself as the daughter of God through my children's eyes. I'll give you an example. Isaiah had a really long day Saturday on top of feeling a little sick. I could definitely see his body was fighting off something. Anyway, by the end of the night he was crying and clingy. I could see it in his eyes he just needed to be loved. As I held him I began whispering in his ear. I told him I loved him and so did His Heavenly Father. I reminded Him of all of God's promises. I could feel his body come to ease. Life had taken a toll on my 6 year old and he just needed to rest in the promises of God and know that he is loved.

As I was whispering to Isaiah I heard the Lord say "this is how I feel for you. I love to whisper into your ear so that you know you are loved." What a peace I felt. Sometimes life happens and the enemy likes to beat us up. He bothers us in our dreams, shouts ugly words at us and laughs while things seem to be falling a part, yet really they are just falling into place. I'm so thankful that I have a Heavenly Father to whisper His promises and love to me. I need it today and always.

Today and yesterday as the battle has raged within my mind I sit quietly at the feet of Jesus allowing His whispers to overpower the shouts from the enemy. Friends I pray you'll join me and do the same.

I love you all and pray no matter what season you find yourself in you don't ever forget who is on the throne.....

Your Heavenly Father!

I'm Just The Mom

Why is it that trusting the Lord is easier said then done? I wish I could answer that question however I can't but I can share a few things the Lord is doing to grow my trust in Him.

As a mother I am a protector and sometimes I take it to the point that I'm over bearing. For instance  I say "Lord I trust you with my kids, ( who are actually His) but no, I'm not going to allow them to do this even though you are asking me to."

So most of you know my kids go to school 2 days a week and are home schooled 3 days. Well in junior high you attend school 3 days a week and stay home 2. I don't like this idea of her going 3 days a week. why you ask? Because I believe it is my responsibility as a mother to teach my children not anyone else's. However the Lord has called me to this so I'll be obedient and walk in it. Pretty much I partner with a teacher or in Amaya's case a few teachers and we educate and shape my children together. Honestly, I love the balance it brings to our home. I pour out into my kids and then send them out to shine and pour out un to others and be a light in this dark world. It takes some trusting though let me tell you.

Athena was at school yesterday and her teacher was going over science and they were learning about sound waves. The teacher said something that sounded as if she believed in evolution. God's Spirit in Athena told her something wasn't right and my girl spoke up and told her teacher she was not allowed to participate in such a thing because she doesn't believe in it. If you want to know I was so proud when I got that email and my girl was being bold in her faith!!!

As soon as I picked Athena up she shared what her teacher said or the article said and I completely understand what bothered Athena's Spirit. Every morning before they get out of my car I cover them in prayer. While they sleep I cover them in prayer and we pray for their teachers salvation as well. Turns out her teacher is a Christian which makes my heart full. Her teacher reread the article and realized what sounded like evolution. Her teacher was bummed this slipped through. God is so good isn't He?! I realize public schools are not as flooded with christian teachers as my kids' charter/home school however we serve the same God friends. A God who loves our children more then us. He gave them to us to protect, shelter and raise up all for Him. I'm finding balance in parenting. Remember our children are never to be idols that we put before our Lord but they are to be placed at His feet in full surrender. This is hard to do but I know when we obey the Lord the blessings and fruit are abundant.

I mentioned above that Amaya goes 3 days a week. I almost pulled her and was not going to allow her to go 3 days but then I heard the Lord say I was to allow this. Yes, I asked the Lord why and was pretty bothered by it but again I must trust and obey.... so the first week my girl comes home to tell me she and her bestie are starting up a Christian club at their lunch time. They will be reading God's word and doing a bible study. Can somebody pinch me because everything I am praying to God the Father is being heard. This mom is excited!! Excited is an understatement. You know what I want for my kids more then anything? That they'd love the Lord our God with all their hearts, souls minds and strength. Seeing Jesus working in my kids is the most amazing thing. And this work is not mine to take the credit for, this is their Heavenly Father. He is the one who changes hearts, not me. He is the one who speaks truth to them not me. I'm just the mom.

I'm okay with being just the mom because this moms heart is full!

Sweet moms who are reading this, can I encourage you to trust and obey. Remember, He loves them more then you do. Be wise of course, however if being wise means walking on water then do just that.

I want to be like Hannah and fully surrender my children to God and like Abraham willing to do whatever God asks even when it seems crazy to the world.

Lord Jesus, I lift up any mom reading this, I pray that you give her super natural faith in you. I pray for wisdom and knowledge in her child raising and that she would trust you with her most prized treasures.... her children that you gave her. Thank you for this sweet mother bless her with patience, discernment and courage and Jesus name Amen!

But His Word Will Never Fade

So I'm super tired to be honest but I can't help but put these words down and out from my heart....

As I lay in bed the enemies doubts and worries surround me. As I try to rest my eyes from my day that was filled with Jesus and my children. The enemy knows that rest is promised to the believer and he doesn't have the right to take it away. That won't stop him though from stealing the abundant life God has promised us. He even attacks our children from this life of abundance.

Tonight Isaiah said "I don't have a dad, well an earthly dad."

Things like this always stop me in my tracks. Although I know God's promises, my heart still aches for my kids who in fact do not have a physical earthly father who shows them any kind of fatherly affection or love. So many more things can happen in our day as we live our lives according to God's will and plan. Even on our days when we've spent most of our day for the kingdom, you better believe the enemy will be there to steal, kill and destroy.

I choose not to let him. Not tonight or never. I let him steal far too many years from my past to give him another second of the present.

So when these doubts come our way even as we try to rest we remember God's word that is filled with truth and promises. God's word will never fade away, heaven and earth shall pass but not God's word. Everything in it has come to pass but a few things and we can take His word to the bank that those things will most definitely pass.

So tonight as I hear the worries of my earthly fatherless children I stand strong on God's promises. A peace can reside within me knowing the Lord is sovereign and loves them more then I do.

So what's keeping you awake tonight. Or what's keeping your mind on things that are NOT of eternity? Give it to Jesus because He loves you far greater then you'll ever understand. He doesn't want to see you hurting or losing sleep or joy from something that's not in your control anyway.

He is good my friends and He will do a good thing! (Encouraging my heart tonight)

A Refuge For Our Children

Some days I am confident my kids will grow up to serve Jesus full heatedly and shun evil. And then other days I see the sin bound up in their hearts and in mine as well. To be honest it can be scary. It scares me sometimes when I see the influence this world has on our youth. From TV shows, to movies, from commercials to the schools. I know satan has an agenda and I know our youth including my kids are on his list.

It makes me angry! If I could personally knock him out I would, however Jesus already crushed his head so really the enemy is defeated I just need to walk in that truth daily relying on God's promises. My job is to protect my babies and that's why the Lord entrusted them to me. With personal convictions the Lord is teaching me what moral standards work for our family. I understand not everyone will agree with that but I really don't care because at the end of the day I answer to my Heavenly Father....

He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. Proverbs 14:26

This morning the Lord spoke to me using this verse. Often times the enemy says to me "your kids will rebel someday, they will hate your ways and your rules, why even live by any standard....." ya those are the types of things I hear. And sometimes I believe them. But this morning the Lord reminded me of this promise. He said to me that being a protector,  setting a moral standard and being a mama who sets borders for her children will in fact not back fire but rather set up a safe haven. A place that welcomes her children always. No matter which path they choose to take in life, like any refuge it will be available for them always And that my kids will know that.

The bible also says "A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil." Proverbs 14:16a

So as a woman if I am desiring this place of refuge in Jesus that I am speaking of then I must show fear of the Lord desiring good and getting rid of all forms of evil.... on my own this is impossible but daily as I die to myself I must rid my own heart of ugliness that wants to seep through. A parent can not simply say "do as I say not as I do" the problem with this is that kids will bare a bitterness deep within. God won't honor that. We as parents must also live out our faith in front of our kids. As we take heed to God's words and transform daily so too will our kids. And like the Father says as we fear Him He will become a secure fortress for our children.

So then in what shall we fear when the enemy comes to destroy our family?! Nothing! We stand strong on the promises of God. So my friends, live up rightly! Not for show and not to earn favor with God but because as you do your life will be an example unto your children. They will get to know this God we serve and they too will always find refuge in Him.

When We Just Don't Feel Like It

Philippians 2:13-18 nlt
 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

Life's been busy but a good busy. We went on vacation, held a healing retreat in our home and then now I am sitting in a waiting room trying to fall asleep until my sweet sister in Christs labor starts. I'm blessed to be her doula. Anyhow I have wanted nothing more then to just blog and write but finding the pockets of quiet time just have not been possible until now at 11:54pm in a hospital waiting room on a super hard chair....

Most recently though my oldest has been on my mind. She is such a sweet girl growing into a beautiful young lady inside and out. Although she is being raised in a Christian home that doesn't mean she won't struggle with having an attitude or lack of joy in her heart. Like you and I she is human and working out her flesh that battles within.

We are blessed to serve in a food ministry and the kids always help out. Sometimes however they complain and would rather watch TV then go to serve. Sometimes as a mom I allow them to miss but there are other days I feel led like they need to be there. 2 days ago Amaya just had a snooty attitude. She said " I just don't see why I need to go?" I responded "Amaya because it's a joy to serve others in Jesus name, now go to your room and ask Jesus to change your heart." She looked at me and went to her room.

Now I am not sure what happened when she went to talk to Jesus but this girl came out then went to serve with a whole different attitude. A few people recognized how she was shinning and such a good worker serving. I laughed inside because her fleshly self was not having it. I also laugh because I know I can be the same too. I don't always feel like doing something good or serving but I know it's the right thing to do. And when my heart doesn't want to do it I simply ask Jesus to replace my heart for His.

Crazy thing about Amaya is she has been shining ever since. And that's exactly what God does. We serve Him and He pours out His Spirit of joy and blessing. I'm just so glad Amaya can witness who our Father is.

Our God is an Awesome God

My son went to sleep singing Our God is an Awesome God, and I cried for him. Most of you know my son suffers from things such as allergies, eczema, and pretty much both attack his skin and cause him to have cuts all over his hands and feet. I wish it was so easy just to put something on it and it disappear or try a new cream and it feel better. Nothing works. That's how I feel anyway.

I as a mother want the best for my children, when I see them in pain my heart aches with them. I wish I could have Isaiah's skin and He could have mine. I want so badly to take his place, that's been my prayer these past few years.

Tonight Isaiah asked "mom why did God make me this way?" I responded "son, I don't know but what I do know is God will get the glory! The blind man didn't do anything wrong but God had a greater plan, so too with your life God is going to do that same thing son...(John 9:1-4)

The enemy is putting thoughts in Isaiah's mind that He did something wrong to deserve this pain he is always in. But I know he has done nothing wrong and God has allowed this, but why? We don't always know why God allows things in our lives. We don't always understand what He sees because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. And who are we to say what the potter should do with the clay?!

No matter what we are facing or what hardship we are going through we must bring glory to God. We must continue to worship Him. Isaiah has a very tough path and as a mom I am so sad weeping and praying over my son but I find strength in who God is and what He promises. Friends our God is able. There is not one thing He can not do and I am teaching that to my son.

So tonight me being a mom I cried as I seen my boy raising his hands proclaiming that "Our God is an Awesome God who reigns from heaven above with wisdom power and love our God is an awesome God!"

We can learn a lot from these little turkeys. Their pure hearts for Jesus brings glory to the Father always.

Maybe you're facing something that is causing you to doubt the goodness of the Lord tonight, can I just encourage you to change your thinking. Remember His promises. Remember that God is ALWAYS doing a good thing! Even in what seems bad and painful to us. Trust the Potter!

Where's Your Joy?

I can always tell in my own life when my joy is gone or diminishing that my relationship with God is weak. And when I say weak I don't mean He has anything to do with that but rather my heart is distant from Him. Have you ever seen a believer that is ALWAYS downcast and so Eeyore like. It is the saddest thing in the world because even on our worst day or toughest trial we still have hope!

Can life be hard? Yes. Do we lose loved ones? Yes. Do we experience great pain? Yes, no doubt but during that time God never leaves us and even if we don't see His hand we can trust that He is there. His word promises us that nothing can separate His great love for us, not one thing! And when the waters rise we cling to Jesus. We look up and know that the trial will pass, that the pain someday will be gone because Heaven is coming and in heaven there will be no more tears or suffering. We know that as children of God all the evil we have done has been wiped away and forgiven and so on judgment day we will be seen white as snow. Friends this is good news. This is the promise we have to cling to when life is a mess. Unending joy should fill our cups so much that it overflows onto others. That's how the world will see the difference in us. See bad things happen to everyone but the believers life should look different when trials and storms come, our lives should radiate the smell of the joy we have in Jesus.

It always makes me sad when I see someone fall away from God or lose their joy. It's a good sign that they are heading backwards instead of forward. Now don't get me wrong, I get grouchy and cranky, I snap at people and sometimes I cry. Well sometimes I cry a lot lol. However God always lifts me back up. When I am downcast the first thing I know I need to do is get on my hands and knees and when I don't feel like it a close sister comes alongside of me speaking truth in love to encourage me to get where I need to be. How can we fall away from this perfect love that is forever wooing us? Today my heart aches for my family who knows the truth yet chooses to walk in rebellion. They wallow in their own misery and keep rejecting God. This makes me sad. They are losing out on the blessing of joy that they can experience in their everyday life.

See that's it guys, life is good! I'll say it again, life is good!! God is good! If you are a believer you should be able to say this and mean it. If not that is a sign that something is wrong. Go to God He will fix it. Don't walk in depression  or anxiety. Don't walk around in anger or un-forgivness. Have you seen God's beauty? Have you seen what He created around us? He is majestic and there is none like Him. None!!!

Too often each day the enemy comes to steal our joy and we just hand it over like It's ours to give away. God paid a high price so that we can walk in freedom so take the gift and give it away and not to satan, Give it to people who walk around depressed,  angry and sad. Let the joy God has given you bless this dying world we live in.

I write this with a heart of righteous anger. It bothers me that some of my family knows the truth yet walks in darkness. It bothers me that far too many Christians have no joy and it bothers me that people I love are straying from Jesus. Here is the thing friends, today is one day closer to Jesus coming and one day closer to us standing face to face with God. Hit your knees and accept God's love then fall radically in love with Him because He is radically in love with you!

They are HIS First

I remember the thought of my kids not being able to attend private christian school frightened me. We were blessed for 4 years to be at an amazing small christian school the staff was amazing, the families were amazing and I knew my kids were in a safe place. Having to pay one tuition wasn't too bad, I felt it but we made it work but when Athena got to kindergarten trying to get 2 tuition's paid or work off one just wasn't working for our family. The sad day came when I realized we just couldn't do it. I was forced as a mom to look for other options to school my children.

Public school was completely out of the picture and I knew that for certain. Being honest while I had a great group of friends all the way through school looking back I realize it wasn't the best place for my siblings and I to have been. I didn't learn as much as I wished I could have, no teacher ever came beside me to make me better and to be honest I seen way too many things that easily could have waited a few years down the road. And the class sizes, Wowzers it felt more like a zoo then a classroom. I have some stories to share but that's not really what this blog is about. Point is I had a bad experience with public school and I knew there had to be a different way for my family.

So then there was home school and that just creeped me out because all I had in mind was "sheltered UN social kids". Kids who didn't know how to socialize or get involved in extra curricular activities. I knew that I wanted balance for my home. We liked sports and ASB functions however we wanted them in moderation and wanted God to always be first and the center.

As I investigated I realized home school was not what it use to be or what I as a child portrayed it to be lol. As I prayed more and more the Lord revealed to me that home school was the exact avenue I was to take with my children. I kind of thought He was crazy to be honest because what single mom home schools her kids? Me I guess. All I knew is I needed to walk down this path.

It was scary leaving our Christian private school and sad too. We had to learn a whole new way of everything and it was kind of hard. To be honest the road has been a rocky one but can I share that it's path has had the most peace in all of our life's journeys. God has made it our safe place with Him. Our single parent home has become very close with one another as we have chugged along this path as the Lord as our guide.

My mom shared that she wished she would have schooled us differently growing up but she didn't know there were other options. I didn't know there were other options either and the more I share how I home school my children the more I see how so many parents don't know they have a choice.

Our children are given by God to us for us to raise as our responsibility. When we stand before the Lord someday each parent will take accountability for what he or she has done with what we have been given. I really take that serious. My choices reflect my children and the choices I choose for them will set them on the path they will feel led to take.

While I have seen some amazing kids come from public school I just want anyone reading this to know that you have other options and choices. And if your kids are at school away from you 5 days a week get involved in their classrooms and schools. Ask questions,  see what they are learning about. Our government is really stepping in to raise our children and fill their minds with the world's knowledge. We as believers do not want that. These kids are our arrows to shoot back at the kingdom of hell. My kids go to school 2 days a week and even then sometimes I know they get taught stuff we don't believe in but we talk about it. We have discussions on the world's stance and point of view along with what God's word says about it.

While I realize God has a different plan for each family I'd just like to encourage you to ask God where He wants your children to be schooled. Before, I just did as I pleased because they were MY kids.... but now as a believer I realize they are HIS kids first and He has given them to me as a gift temporarily. So now I say "God where do you want your kids to be?" 

So that's my encouragement to you. You have other options. You can do anything God is calling you to do. Will you need great faith in God to trust your kids to be in a public school? Do you need strength and endurance to home school this year? Or do you need to trust God will provide financially for a Christian private school. I don't know the answer but God does. Listen He will answer.

The safest place to be is in the center of God's will because where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. It feels good to live FREE!

Not on My Watch

I spent the day with some of my nieces and nephews who are under the age of 3. Wow, did it bring back memories of tired days and constant reinforcement. I was tired just from 5 hours with those little turkeys. It really made me appreciate my grown kids who get their own drinks, wipe their own butts, entertain one another and clean up after themselves (for the most part anyway). But then I thought why does motherhood still feel so hard?

After a rough couple of days and then dealing with sin issues in my 12 year olds heart I have decided that motherhood never gets easier it just changes. Like tears we shed over our toddlers disobedience  changes in to tears we shed over our 12 years old disobedience. Conclusion is, our kids sin issues change along the way. The bible says folly is bound up in the heart of a child and it's our job to drive it out.

As I was disciplining my daughter the Lord spoke to me as my parent. I told my daughter I wasn't going to let the enemy snatch her from my home and that I would do everything in my power to protect her and that I wasn't  going to lose her to this world. God whispered "and so I would do the same for you".... He put Romans 8:38-39 on my heart

 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It is no secret that the enemy wants our soul and if we are children of God he can not have our soul but that doesn't mean he won't steal from us. He can steal our joy and peace,  as well as our blessings if we let him. I don't want to give the dude credit but let's be real he works 24-7 in the business of evil and sometimes we get tired and cave into his stupid lies.

But God!! He is a victor. He won and He will always win. I don't have the power in my own strength to defeat the enemy and all his schemes so I must look to God when the war grows fierce or I begin to grow weary and tired.

Seeing how the enemy tried to come into my house and snatches my daughter just makes this all so much more real. Not on my watch. Because, I am my daughters keeper and I realize I am fully responsible for her life as long as she is under my care. So as the watchman over this family I have seen what is coming to attack my home and you know what it's a big army. Am I afraid?  Maybe alittle but I know who goes and fights before me. The best place to be is on my knees. Praying and interceding for my children and family.

So you see, It never gets easier being a mom, trials just look a little different.

This world is growing more evil by the moment and the evil army by the seconds is gaining more and more fighters so we must make a stance and a choice. If you think for any second you can live lukewarm while raising kids you are crazy. These kids watch every move and everyday we as parents are shaping them. Don't waiver friends and don't led up because the moment that you do the enemy sneaks in to destroy. And you know what?! I want to raise warrior’s and difference makers. Kids who will be raised up and change the evil world they live in.

So right now as a mom you can find me on my knees as my God fights for my family. If I as a mother am imperfect but won't stop fighting for my children's souls how much more is our perfect Heavenly Father going to never stop fighting for our souls. He won't ever stop friends. Nothing can take us from His great love. And you know what nothing can ever steal my kids from my great love for them. Nothing, not Ever!

Who is your Father?

     Growing up father's day was a special day for our home. We had an awesome dad who got up every single day to go to work. Even when his body felt broken from the hard labor he rolled himself out of bed to go to work for us. He didn't just stop there though like most dad's do. When he came home he'd use the restroom have some coffee and take us to an evening of practice in one of the million sports and seasons we played. He didn't just want to make a difference in our lives but hundreds of other kids as well. He sacrificed his time to give us time that would later on make the strongest difference in our life. So you see we had a father that we wanted to celebrate each year. And I still do.

     My kids though, there father's day plays out a little different. Unfortunately I made some bad choices over the years and there biological father has as well. Because he chooses selfishness they lose out on a father. They aren't raised in the way I was raised having both mother and father, in fact all of them have expressed that they don't even know what it feels like to have a dad so they have no clue what they are missing. I hold tight to that answer when tears from my heart pour from my eyes. I so badly want them to have the kind of father I had. Someone to cry to, someone you know is your protector at night when you hear a scary sound. Someone to reassure you that you are accepted and loved when the boy you liked just crushed your heart.....

    I get angry sometimes and sometimes I cry. Why don't my children have a father? Lord why don't you make this right for them? Send them a man who will raise them better then any man ever will or even better then their father could have. I know God can do it which is why I ask and wonder. He hears me and he sees them so what's taking so long? And why do I feel as though he is not answering?

   While I have no clue what our future holds and what God's plan is I know it's better then mine. Even when our fatherless home is in an uproar because homes weren't meant to be like this I just cling to the promises of God. When the enemy and the world tells me my children will turn out wrong because of their fatherless home I fight back with the promises of God. Did you know this is what the statistics look like for a fatherless home.

              90% of homeless and runaway children

              63% of youth suicides

              85% of children who exhibit      behavioral disorders

              71% of pregnant teenagers

              80% of rapists motived          
               with displaced anger

              90% of repeat arsonists

              85% of youths in prison

              60% of repeat rapists

    Yikes that is frightening. That's what my children are up against. While some single moms like to consider themselves super heroes I always try and remember that I couldn't do this without Him. You want the truth, I hate taking our trash out. I hate worrying about yard work and I am  so sick of carrying the weight of what the man was created for.  Ans I hate it at night when I hear a scary noise and realize I am the one who has to go check it out. Seriously guys although these are things I have to do I don't like doing them.

    So what keeps me from throwing in the towel? While my kids are second in line Jesus is my answer. Do I get tempted to drink my pain away, yes! Do I get tempted to marry any Tom Dick or Harry yes. It's hard. But what keeps me in obedience to God's will is His great love for me. And you know what I trust that although my kids will have pain because of being fatherless they will learn God's love for their lives too. That great love will keep them from straying and they too will desire to be obedient to Christ. One of my favorite promises is He is Father to the Fatherless and defender of widows. So when my kids seem to be up against stupid statistics the one that shines even greater is the fact that they have a Father in heaven who makes things new. Who takes all the bad and works it out for His glory and their good. I can trust this when my heart is filled with sadness and sorrow. When I see my children hurting I can remind them who God is and His great love for each of them.

    See everyone here on earth will face troubles. Every human being will go through something that will either drive them to Christ or cause them to curse Him. As for me and my house though no matter how bad or sad we "feel" we will serve the Lord and praise His name.

    So in ending this my heart is encouraged once again to hang tight. To keep serving the Lord full heartedly because His will is far greater then mine....

    Hoping and praying that whatever you are facing today you realize God loves you and that you can trust Him. When things don't look right and sorrow fills your heart cling to Jesus friend.

It Is Good

God's word tell us that when we delight ourselves in Him that He gives us the desires of our heart....

I use to have a foggy understanding of that promise from God. That blurred understanding caused me to feel hurt, frustration and even anger towards God. Why didn't God give me what I wanted? I would say that the question I had for Him that caused great anger was why didn't He fix my marriage? What kind of God wouldn't want children to have their father?

These were all things that stirred in the depths of my heart.

God in His infinite wisdom and creativity created the woman for the man and His word says the man was not complete without the woman and therefore that causes us to understand that it is not good for man to be alone, God says this Himself. The Lord placed the desire deep within our hearts to be married and to long for marriage, I'd say especially for us woman. We know from a young age that we are some one's missing rib. This desire is so great that for most of us as little girls we plan out our wedding day. What our dress will look like, how we will do our hair and sometimes we even pick a boy who we will marry. I even picked the song I was walking down the aisle too.... That is just who we are as woman and you know what? I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I believe God the Father has placed those desires in the depths of our heart.

You know where I think the problem lies. The problem is when we get raised thinking it's okay to have sex before marriage, or even get emotionally connected with someone who may or may not be who God has created for us. In the Songs of Solomon God says that we are not to awaken Love before it's time. We seriously need to take heed to that warning. There is a reason for this. God is always telling us not to do something not because He is mean but because He knows what the consequences will look like if we do the thing He warns us not to do. Look how many children are fatherless due to sex before marriage. Look at America's divorce rate. And for crying our loud look how many babies are murdered each day due to people just entering relationships because they "feel" lonely. As this generation roars to be heard about the fact that they should live life to it's fullest and do what makes them happy they in all actuality are being deceived by the enemy. In the end they'll pay the consequences to this life they have chosen.

See biblically God shows us that He created this one woman for Adam. He didn't create many woman or say sleep with these woman before you settle down with Eve. No, He placed Adam in a deep sleep and took from him his rib and formed the woman that was known to Adam as Isha. Adam knew this gem was for him and only him and God seen that and said it was good.

We all know what happens next. Sin enters the world because the deceiver conspired a plan to twist God's truth to Eve. Our enemy uses that same tactic today. He comes and whispers the exact opposite of what God has promised. He twists God's promises causing us as woman or single people to believe that God's promise won't come to pass.

Look at what He put in the mind of Abraham and Sarah. He fed them lies that God's promise of them having a son would not come from Sarah but rather they were to get Sarah's maid servant pregnant and have a son through her. That sounds so ridiculous right!? I know. But how often do we do this? Especially in our walk as single men and woman.

I know I do. The desire of being a wife grew so great in me rather then waiting on God I forced something that wasn't from God. I made God's promise of a husband come to pass the way I thought it should look. I had premarital sex along with marrying someone that the Lord did not have in mind or at least not at that time.

Like Abraham I brought so much hurt and pain to my children, others who loved me and my own self as well.

I know it's hard waiting for God's promises sometimes. Believe me, I get it. I long to be a help mate and I so believe that that desire is from the Lord. So what do I do with these desires?... I simply delight myself in the Lord.

Remember we have an enemy who is always looking to steal kill and destroy and 99% of the time he doesn't come at you with horns and a pitch fork. He disguises himself as light and causes you to have a blurred vision of God's promises.

Wait, wait patiently. If you're like me that word wait makes you want to jump lol. Seek God's word and His kingdom and He will give you all that you need. Be still and sit in the presence of God knowing in His timing it shall come to pass and it will be good.

Perfect Peace

It's been a while since I have plugged away at writing and while I want to be hard on myself I am reminded that there is a season for everything.... It is summer for our house which means no home school for 10 weeks :-) which means more lazy days, more bible studies, more disciple ships, more pool days, more beach days, more workouts and more writing.

I don't think we ever stop learning to trust God. In fact our entire relationship with Him is based off of trust. Have you ever actually physically seen Jesus. I mean I get we see Him in everything and through people but I have never seen Him in physical form. Yet we trust Him. Most think we are crazy for believing something we haven't seen but Jesus says different. He says "you believe because you have seen me but blessed are those who believe without seeing me." John 20:29

I truly believe that there is a strengthening in our relationship with Christ Every time we trust Him without seeing the outcome.

Oh my gosh friends it's hard. It's scary and frightening at times but if there is anything that we can put our trust in it's God. I am a control freak, I am bossy and not being the driver of my car is hard. But being in this relationship with Christ for just about 8 years I have learned that Every time I make God sit in the back seat I always crash!

Each opportunity He gives us to trust Him is a blessing. It's a way to cast down all our fears of the unknown and reflect Every time He has been faithful and taken care of us.

One thing I say though is keep in communication with God. Sometimes our heartache can be us getting out of the car and running in front of God because we are trying to get to the next destination faster then His perfect plan is designed. All that will happen is us either getting hurt or growing weary and tired. So ask God like Simon Peter did. Say "God is that you" if God says yes then it doesn't matter how scary the surrounding can be because in His perfect will you can't be destroyed.

Peter walked on water and did something no man has ever done or can do alone because He kept His eyes on Jesus.

So friend don't be afraid of what's to come. Be in a right relationship with Jesus and trust that He will get you where you need to be at His perfect timing and will.

There is such a peace in God's will

You will keep in perfect peace those who trust in you and those whose eyes are fixed on you. Trust in the Lord always for the Lord God is the eternal rock. Isaiah 26:3-4

A Beautiful Mess

I wish I was the perfect mother. The one who's house is always spotless. The one who can make everything on Pinterest. The one who never forgets a Dr's appointment. The one whose kids have matching socks on all the time, the one who makes it to every school event and helps out every time they say they need a volunteer. That's just not me. I am the mom who's bedroom is a mess because I am too tired at night to clean it, I am the mom whose kids socks don't match because I am too tired to pair every sock and then those darn socks run away. I am also the mom who has so much on her mind I forget my son had a Dr's appointment. So then when I get an email to volunteer I just pray other moms sign up to fill the spots. Yup that's me...

Honestly lately I feel like a broken mess. Wondering how could anyone ever love me besides God because I know He loves me. I've laid in bed countless times and balled my eyes out hoping my kids can't hear. I utter "lord I need you" just about 100 times a day (no joke).

If I may can I be real with you.. Yes, I love homeschooling and there is a sense of peace here in Gods will but friends it is hard. I have to be the teacher and the mom. Then sometimes I even have to be the principal when the two little ones choose to come to class with an attitude or stubborn heart. I am also the lunch lady and at this school we serve breakfast lunch and dinner :-) so you see sometimes I get tired and grow weary. I often ask "what in the world am I thinking being a single mom and homeschooling, these little turkeys don't even care...."

And then, God shows me a glimpse of their heart. Although my stubborn kids are turkeys at times they are also a work in progress. The bible says that when a child is fully trained he is as great as his teacher. Guess that means I am my kids' teacher. I am the one who influences them and shows them the way. So when our family is having a rough season and moms pillow cases are a bit more damp, it's the best to have your daughter (in whom you just disciplined) come lay hands on you and pray in Jesus Name. Then my sweet girl leaves me the flower in this picture... So I guess Even in the midst of a mess God is still blessing my family.

This was written from the depths of my heart and if you today feel like me an imperfect mother and a huge mess just surrender it to God. Offer up your entire messy self because God always makes things beautiful! You are a beautiful mess!

When Our Freedoms Affect Others

http://news.yahoo.com/woman-accused-cutting-baby-pregnant-womans-womb-085622311.html

The link above is a story that doesn't catch me by surprise. That may sound odd to you but to me its another day here in America. This beautiful country that offers freedom of speech and freedom to live how we want. Each of us get to choose what makes us happy and pleases our hearts. Of course we have laws we must abide by but even then they are laws we all vote on and get to pass.

Two laws that come to mind are the legalization of marijuana and the other is the legalization of abortion. I know I ruffled feathers by just bringing that up but honestly I don't care. I have been placed here to be Gods hands and feet and to love the lost broken and poor. What good am I though if I don't speak when God tells me to speak.

We think that freedom is living how we want but what about the fact that our freedom sometimes causes hurt to others. We as Americans made our voice known when we said it's okay to kill a baby inside the womb. People fought for years to prove it was just a "fetus" and not a human being. Not until "they" said it was anyway. Now we kill 50,00 little people everyday all in the name of a woman's rights. Are you kidding me!!!???

And then when we read an article like this we all get shocked. Why? It's done on a daily basis and justified. I am by no means sticking up for the woman who cut another woman's baby from her womb, that woman needs Jesus. Again, it was sad, disgusting and so wrong. But can I ask, what is the difference between that woman and the thousands of "educated doctors" who do it on a daily basis? NOTHING! It's still murder.

This article gives great insight on the fact that now this once pregnant woman expecting a child will not be able to hold accountable the woman who murdered her daughter. You know why? Because we as Americans decided it wasn't yet a human being. God though He says different.

 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;

My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Yes, there is free will and free choice and yes in America we get freedoms no other country offers. Don't use that freedom though if it hurts someone else. It makes no sense that a pregnant woman has rights but the human being inside her doesn't. How stupidly "educated" are we!?

My heart aches for the woman who lost her baby to such a horrific murder and my heart aches for all the woman who lose their babies to murder on a daily basis because weather we see the consequences of the killing of our babies now or later on, you must know we will see and feel the consequences. God says that He is not mocked whatever a man sows that he will also reap.

Friends, I love you! God loves you but we must wake up and fight for the lives of these unborn children. This is not okay!!!

If you are a woman who has had an abortion please know that Gods love and forgiveness is for you too! I know, because I have seen the hand of God in this same area of my life.

You all know I am just a broken woman who has experienced Gods love and grace. I have lived a wreck less life on the fast train to hell. I have committed every sin in the book even murder. Today I am radically in love with Jesus because He has seen my heart and still He loves me. I am certain this great love that I know is offered to you as well.

If you are experiencing consequences now from a past abortion I'd love to speak with you. Again, I love you but most importantly God loves you!

In less then a week I will be celebrating the birth of my oldest daughter. She will be 12, I am 29. If you do the math you'll see I got pregnant at 16 and delivered her out of wedlock at the age of 17. Even in a situation such as that I knew God had a plan.

If you ever get a chance to meet my sweet girl you will know that although her life has been different and challenging because her mom was so young, you will see she is thriving like any other child born in the "perfect" situation. I share that just in case someone is contemplating an abortion. No matter what the situation is God has always had a plan for your sweet baby in your womb.

Breakfast For Dinner-All For Him

This journey we have ventured out in the past 10 weeks have had it's fair share of ups and downs. Because of Isaiah's food and environmental allergies we have chosen to eat clean. Some days feel like I am fighting with my kids to eat right and others are a beautiful walk in the park. We are learning everything in moderation. It hasn't been easy though fighting against the world. The way our culture here in America eats is way different then what I am trying to implement in my home. I guess that's the same as far as our faith goes too.

As a mom I realize my great need for Christ but sometimes I forget to ask Him for all I need in raising these kids. Who I am and where we are heading is IMPOSSIBLE without Him. Everyday I need to remember to ask Him for help in parenting. Last night was a tough night... Well, tough is actually a nice way to put it. Last night I went to bed angry in tears as a mom. You better believe this morning I got on my hands and knees asking for His help. :-)


I hate that I'm that way. I hate that I need to get to my boiling or the end of my trying to ask Him for help. Hello Dez!!! He realizes we need Him its a matter of us realizing it. Anyway I felt like sharing this simple but clean way of eating pancakes and breakfast for dinner.

No matter what we do as parents it all must be done in His strength and for His glory, even making pancakes ;-)


*Ingredients
4 eggs
1 cup of milk (I use THIS coconut milk, but any milk will work)
2 rounded tablespoons of pure raw honey or maple syrup
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
½ cup coconut flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
pinch sea salt
pinch of cinnamon
1 cup of blueberries
coconut oil (or butter) for frying
pure maple syrup for drizzling over pancakes

*Instructions
-Whisk the eggs with the milk, honey and vanilla.
-Add the coconut flour, baking soda and salt to the liquid mixture.
-Stir until well combined.
-Gently fold in the blueberries.
-Let the pancake mixture sit for 2-3 minutes or until it reaches a normal pancake batter consistency.
-Pour the batter onto a well greased (with coconut oil or butter) griddle over medium low heat in the shape and size of desired pancake.
-Once the pancakes have tiny bubbles all over, it's time to flip.

FYI: the Pancakes on the top are banana. I added 1 smashed banana instead of the blueberries. The topping is simply strawberries washed and cut up then smashed with a bean smasher. My kids love them. That's their syrup :-)

Add your choice of eggs and bacon on the side and there you have it friends. Happy clean eating!

The Good Good Father

I love my kids! I'd do anything for them! When they request something for dinner I love to make it for them ( as long as its good for them). When they ask for something they need I always do everything in my power to get it to them. When they ask for prayer I instantly stop what I'm doing and pray over or with them. The joy they bring our home and my life is irreplaceable.

This may surprise you but sometimes my kids ask for things that I know aren't good for them. Like they are famous for asking for candy all the time. So 99% of the time I say no and that's not to be cruel but because candy benefits them nothing. It leaves them with a sugared rush and junk on their teeth. These crazies even ask for toys every time we walk in a store (the two little ones anyway). I know as a mother if I give them what they ask for every time even though they don't need it then it only creates an ungrateful heart. And honestly we already struggle with that in our flesh why would I encourage and water that!?

Saturday night we ran into the store to pick something up. As we walked out my son screamed and flipped out! I have not seen him do this in years he looked like an angry sad child who didn't know how to say what he was feeling. Praise God for discernment. The Spirit told me exactly the problem. I just hugged him and prayed with him. I calmed him down and stayed with him. I let him know that I loved him and was never going to leave him.

After he calmed I asked, ( knowing what the Lord had told me) "son what was that about?" His answer crushed my heart. My boy expressed something he wanted and just can't understand why he can't have it. Can I be real with you? Sometimes I ask God the same question that Isaiah asked me and about the same exact thing....

I know in my heart though that what Isaiah wants at this time won't be what's best for him. He doesn't know that though. God reminded me that just like I know these things for Isaiah how much more does our perfect Heavenly Father know these things about us. Often times I look like Isaiah screaming full of hurt anger and rage just not understanding why.

I was reminded of the time when I knew God had the power to fix my ex husband and change him but why didn't He!? I cried from the depths of my soul for my broken family that I wanted God to fix. Here we sit 4.5 years later and God didn't put my family back together the way I thought was best. It's better! I say that because I know with His infinite wisdom He knows what's best. 

Maybe you are going through the same thing right now just wondering why not. May I encourage you to trust God. His word tells us that He won't withhold one good thing from His children. He has the perfect timing for everything, friend we just need to trust Him. 

As far as my personal family goes we of course have days where our hearts hurt about the fact that this home doesn't have a husband or father in it. But may I just declare that God is faithful. Through those times that we have, He has once never left us. We have felt His presence every step of the way and He has even strengthened each of us in our faith in Him. I don't know what our future holds but I do know it'll be good because it's in the hands of a good good Father.

A Few Find It

Sometimes the kids and I watch a movie on nextflix during the week and last night it was that kind of night. We voted on Left Behind. Not the one that came out in 2014 but the one made in the 90's with Kurt Cameron. I personally have not seen the new one but I heard from my sisters in Christ it was a huge bummer as far as the truth being proclaimed.

Anyways this movie really had me thinking about eternity and about how so many will be left behind, even those we think were followers of Christ. As a matter of fact over the past few days God has brought that to my attention through Kwave and other bible teachers. Think about this...
Matthew 7:13-14 NLT

“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.  But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

Only Few find it. That's what stuck out to me. I want to be that few, I don't want to just think I might make it but I want to know I'm going to make it. What's my reasoning for this because I can't imagine a day without God. That's what hell is like you know. Its separation from God. Can you imagine a life lived like that!? So many of our family members and neighbors live that way now. They wake up everyday living for what they want. They don't speak to God and they surely don't ask Him where or what they should be doing. They practice lustful acts, malice speech, prideful conversations, drunken parties, and they give into wrath, drugs and find themselves drunk day in and day out. I remember that way of life, I lived for self pleasure from the moment I woke up to the moment I closed my eyes.

Don't mistake me I still sin!!! Let me say this again, I STILL SIN! I am in no way claiming to be holier then thou. What I am proclaiming is I have accepted the blood of Jesus to save me. This narrow path I have decided to walk on is only made possible with Christ living in me. Life is very hard and I remember life before Christ not just being hard but being hell on earth. I couldn't imagine a day without Him. I have known the goodness of the Lord, why would I ever leave!?

Can you imagine what that day will be like when the church is gone. Every child who once laughed and brought joy to this world just gone. So many will be deceived in that day and so many will remember what "us crazy believers " warned them of. Woe to them!

By now I hope you know that I do not want us to be left behind. Not because we don't want to go to hell but because I don't want us to spend a day separated from Christ. Don't be deceived that we will be fat angels floating on a cloud in heaven and don't think we will be bored. No way no how. Friend it will be a party like never before. Not that kind of party, the kind where we are filled with so much joy, peace and thankfulness and that will cause us to worship the One who deserves it.

Does your life look like this already? I hope so because that is good fruit showing you have the Spirit living in you. ;-)

After that movie I needed to check and examine my heart. This morning I needed to do that. Everyday as a follower of Christ I need to do that. Don't get comfortable in your walk thinking your saved so you can live how you want. No friend, daily we need to be an example of Christ. Get in the gospels and learn who Jesus was and how He lived. May our lives be a reflection of Him!

If you are not saved and reading this, you can be saved friend. The bible says this:
Romans 10:9-10 NLT

If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.

I truly believe that if a person is saved it is evident with the way they live. Because when we invite God in, He comes and makes it His home. With God living within us He makes the necessary changes needed so that He, this perfect God can make us His masterpiece. Don't worry if you're a mess, don't worry if you struggle with anger, lust, drunkenness, gossip, murder or idolatry. Just let Him in. He will do the rest, you only need to be willing. Gods desire is that not one should perish but have everlasting life, its up to each person what they want. Eternity with Christ or Eternity apart from Christ.

Can All Your Worries Add A Single Day To Your Life!?

If you're human like me then I know you like to sugar coat sin here and there. We look for ways to make things sound good or rebuttal our reasoning behind the sin. It's like we take a big fat red stamp that reads JUSTIFIED! Now we know the only person who can justify us is the Father and that's through the blood of Jesus.

Nevertheless we still coddle our sin. Did you know worrying is a sin? I didn't know this in my first few years serving the Lord. I do know this now though. Each time I worry its like questioning the authority of God in my life and questioning the ability that He holds. Where is my faith?

All day long the enemy is looking for ways to steal kill and destroy and darts are being thrown our way and we must take them captive. Literally, take them from our mind before they enter our heart and throw them out and lock away the key. 

Ughh, the worries of this world are endless and we can spend our entire day worrying about tomorrow. But God... He says different friend. He says: 

Matthew 6:25-34 NLT

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,  yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

So maybe food isn't an issue and maybe your closet is full but how about your children... Do you worry for them? Or your husband? And how about silly things such as meeting deadlines and paying bills. What's your worry today?

I'll be honest mine started with getting school work done before my next 3 days of busyness. Then I began to see the sink full of dishes and the blankets that need washed. I began to calculate my bills on the calculator and boy the list went on.

I heard a whisper say just stop. Seek me, seek what I have to say. Pull away from this world and all its screaming at you, rest with me and give me your burdens.

I love Him! Best Father and husband ever. He knows me, He gets my craziness and He walks me through it.

So here it goes, again I can't do it. But He can. He loves us and we are His. All we need to do is seek first His kingdom. Are you seeking first His kingdom? If so friend, we have nothing to worry about. Don't miss what God wants to do today in your life because you're worried about tomorrow!

Ahhh, (as I take a deep breath in and out of peace) God is good! All the time! And all the time God is good!

I Can't Do It Alone

Being a mother after salvation is the greatest gift I have received here on earth. My love for my kids is indescribable. I am coming to realize that they won't know this though until they receive the gift of becoming a parent themselves...

These past 2 weeks have been trying as a mom for me. Lately I'm dealing with bad attitudes, ungratefulness, bickering and fighting, stubbornness and temper tantrums. I want to just scream, being honest sometimes I do blow my lid and then I feel bad. I don't believe that there is any mother on earth who wants to be a bad mother or desires harm for her children. Deep inside we want what's best for them and we dream that one day they will grow into all God has created them to be.

I can't do it though and neither can you. We in our own strength can't form these beautifully well rounded children. We can't make them love God, we can't make them be kind, we can't make them be thankful or grateful and don't even bring up selfishness because you can't make them be selfless friend. I have tried and the more I go toe to toe with them the more I am defeated.

So when we lay our head down at night and Satan reminds us of all our failing moments as a mom we help him pick up the knife and stab us in our heart laying defeated dead and hopeless. Are you starting to picture the weeks I have had as a mom. Oh I love my babies and I'd go to the ends of the earth for them but boy it's a tough job.

Some give up you know, they check out and decide its easier not to parent and teach them the right way. These parents turn a blind eye to all their children are doing or they spend more time away from home rather then taking the responsibility of raising them. May we never be in the category of giving up because God never gives up on us! Matter of fact, lately I have been laughing inside as my kids have been acting out in stubbornness, selfishness and tantrums. I asked God "do I look like this as your daughter?" Ha ha ha... And He, to this day hasn't given up on me.

Friend I can't do this without Christ and neither can you. We don't force our children to be better we show them. We don't teach them not to lie we show them how never to tell a lie... You see, a child is as great as His teacher once fully trained. I believe that we will face seasons where we see nothing but our children's flesh showing and that is absolutely normal. We must never waiver and give up though. They in time will learn to walk in the Spirit if we are showing them this.

At night when they are fast asleep I lay hands on my babies (even my almost 12 year old) I lift up their weaknesses and failures I pray for the things I know they need and even the things I don't know they need. I can't do it but He can!

I believe God brings us to things so that He can reveal His strength and greatness to us. Right now in the season of parenting I am realizing that I can only be the best mom with His strength. Everyday I must glean from the greatest parent, I must spend time with Him and hearing His word and I must ask for more of Him and less of me. Because you see like you and every mother reading this in my heart I want my babies to grow and be all He is calling them to be!

Thanks for listening,
A mother who needs Him

Who Am i

These past couple of weeks I have become overwhelmed and humbled by the fact that the one true God would use a woman like me.

I haven't wrote in a few weeks and this time I'm happy to say its not because I've had bad distractions. Not this time. This time I have been serving and seeking the Lord and had to take a break from my phone. As much as I love my phone too much of it can drive me nuts!

I have wanted to share so much over the past weeks though. Tonight as I lay in bed the one thing that's heavy on my heart is the lost and broken.

Again as I have sought out the Father He has put me in a place where I am able to spend some time with the hurting. Who am i, that God would want me to be His hands and feet. I have been reflecting on Jesus and His ministry here on earth and how He loved everyone. He touched the blind, the leper, the deaf and the sinner. He fed the poor and ate with the tax collectors.


Sometimes as believers we are so blessed by God that we forget what we are truly placed here on earth to do. We forget that we are called to love the lost and not judge them. We are called to feed the poor and not shy away from them thinking in our head "they are poor because of their choices". We are called to put our faith in Christ to action.

As I reflect how blessed I am I can't lose the memory of where I once was. I was poor, I was lost and I was broken. It was Christ who made me whole. It is Christ who meets my needs and its because of HIM that I have been found. I don't ever want to be in a place where I look at people through the eyes of the Pharisees. They were the ones Jesus rebuked ya know.

Sweet friends there are hundreds of hurting people who don't know Christ and are on their way to hell. May we ask the Lord to be broken for what breaks His heart and may we ask the Lord for the love that He has for the lost and poor.

Take these words in love because they came from my heart. Everyday is a new opportunity to show Gods love to the people He came to save. 💙

Who am i that the Lord of all the earth would want me to be His hands and feet.

In Whom Shall I Fear!?

I'm not sure if I have shared this story with you but if I have its okay, you can hear it again....

Last October I wanted to challenge myself for my 29th birthday to run Ragnar in Vail Lake. This challenge included 3 courses that equalled 15 miles total all done through trails... Does it sound grueling? Because it was!

But it was the greatest challenge I have ever taken.

For me it was about trusting God and conquering fears. Fears such as running through the middle of the night and being alone without anyone to be comforted by. Mountain lions, snakes, coyotes you name it those things scare me especially because I'm not even 5 foot so I know I'd be a nice meal for them ;-)

I did it though and it was all by Gods strength. I must say I had a huge moment of fear where I stopped in my track and felt so scared I didn't know what to do.

It was 5 am and I was on my last trail it was 6 miles in length but not so hilly however it sat nice through the largest mountain furthest away from the camp where all the other humans were...

I have no clue why there was not a runner in front of me insight or behind me for at least 15 minutes, for me guys that was freaky!!! As I was alone out there I began to think way too much I felt as if a mountain lion was stocking me, honestly guys I felt the presence of something stocking me. No one was around, I didn't even get service out there in that mountain so all I had was God! Why would I even say all I had was God, I should have been thinking all I need is God.

At one point I stopped, I was so scared I grabbed my phone to try and call a sister back at camp, there was no service. I then realized God you are all I have and you have the power to protect me from anything stocking me weather a mountain lion or human.

I cried out to Him asking Him for strength and courage to keep running as well as protection from anything out there that would want to devour me.

You better believe God kept His promises to always protect me and rescue me from distress and trouble. I felt power and strength to endure, within moments there were people up ahead and the light from the dawn began to rise, it was beautiful friends.

I learned a lesson out there alone. I learned that He is faithful and all I'll ever need. When the enemy lurks to devour me my God will rescue me when I cry out in distress. He is sovereign and always doing a good thing even when at the moment I don't "feel" like He is. I will trust in Him.

If you get the opportunity to walk through your fears, I'd like to encourage you to do so. My knew life saying is "in whom shall I fear? The Lord is my protection and shield!"

Gluten Free Coconut Flour Pancakes

Okay I'll confess I am terrible at making pancakes! Growing up my mom made banana pancakes, blueberry pancakes and mickey mouse pancakes. She made it look so easy. I thought I'd give it a try as soon as I was out on my own and all that ended up happening was us getting a sick tummy. The inside was uncooked and the outside was as close to burnt without being burnt. Yuck!!! Anyway we're on a mission to better health. This recipe was given to me and trust me when I say its easy. I still don't make a good pancake but this recipe made me feel like my mom this morning. Proud of my pancakes! Happy eating friends!

-2 ripe bananas
-3 egg at room temperature
-2 tbsp coconut flour (you may need to add a touch more at the end)
-Cinnamon
-Vanilla extract

Directions:
Blend all ingredients (super easy to do in a Magic Bullet!).Cook on a hot pan coated with coconut oil.
Drizzle with honey or top with fruit or shredded coconut. (The picture below had no honey on it)

Jesus Was Amazed

So it was a year ago when the Lord used this song to encourage me to take a step out in faith and follow what He was calling me to do. I honestly think I got sidetracked for a few months but nevertheless He didn't stop calling me. Finally I answered again and here I am now.

Its so crazy how the enemy likes to scare us and even get us to doubt. Why would I doubt a God that always provides!? Its silly of me.

In the picture below its clear this was the cry of my heart, to be in a place where the only security was Jesus and my faith would be tested and refined so that it would be made stronger.

This morning I was reading in Matthew chapter 8 about the Roman Officer and the great faith He had in Jesus. Jesus was amazed read for yourself: Matthew 8:10 NLT

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!

Whoa!!! Jesus was amazed, I want faith like that! We get to experience this kind of faith when we are brought to a place where all we can trust in is our perfect Savior. I'm totally okay with that!

Sweet friends maybe you need faith today like the Roman Officer because you know that only He can fix or do whatever it is you are asking of Him. During this song, she sings:

 "You've never failed and you won't start now, so I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves, when oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace, for I am yours and you are mine.'

So meditate on those words of truth. There you will find strength in who He is and your faith will not be shaken. Tell that silly ol' devil that not today nor ever will you stop trusting your God!!!

He Knows My Name

Okay so, if you don't have a common name like Ashley, Jennifer, Madison, Aiden, Luke, David, Michael or Jeremy then you probably didn't find your name on any Coke bottle last year.

I'd be excited to pick out a new Diet coke bottle hoping my kids and I would find our names on the bottles.... Nope, never, not once. We always left bummed but with anticipation and hope that the next Diet coke trip we'd find one. Its not just with the Coke bottles, its with all of the pre-personalized items.

We can Always count on God though! Just because the world doesn't know our name or just because our name is not on anything the God of this universe knows our names.

Isaiah 45:3 NLT

And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness— secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the lord , the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.

I love Him!! And you know what!? Each of our names mean something. At devo time the other night the kiddos and I looked up the meaning of each of our names.

Mine was: Desired, boy do I need to be reminded that I  am desired by God.

Amaya's means: Close to God, what a sweet reminder that she is to stay close to the Lord always.

Athena's means: Wisdom, its not always easy choosing the right paths but we can be reminded that God will always give us the wisdom we need to choose correctly.

Isaiah's means: God is salvation! Who doesn't want to be reminded daily that Jesus saves!

It was a fun thing to do with them. Then we decided as a family that this would be the prayer for our family from here on out. That we would do our best to walk closely and with wisdom in the Lord and whatever we lacked we would ask for. Also that we would remember that we are desired by Him who is our beloved. Lastly, that we would remember that HE is our salvation and has saved us. Oh friends may we always share with others the good things the Lord has done.

So my challenge is for you to find the meaning of your name... How can you ask the Lord to use that in your walk with him. May it be the prayer for you today and always. 

He knows your name, you are special to Him and He loves you with an everlasting love. ☺

Sow the Seed That You Want To Reap

One of the greatest gifts about being a mother is being able to pour out Jesus into the lives of our children. We get to reflect God into their lives.

For most things that is fantastic, they get to watch us as we serve one another, pray for people as well as love them through their ups and downs as they learn and grow. Those are the good things!

I know for every parent reading this, that you have had a moment or moments when your child reflects the flesh in you as well.... Those are the moments we get to grow as parents. We realize that our precious children are watching our every move. Just as we spend time with our perfect Heavenly Father we will reflect Him and that's the same for our children. The challenge for us is that we're so far from perfect.

God knew we wouldn't be perfect parents and yet He still chose each of us for our children. Just as our kids are growing and learning, so are we.  Man, I am thankful for Gods grace, aren't you!? I've learned that as my Heavenly Father shows me grace I too should show my children grace.

Okay, back to where I was going with this... A few weeks back a friend said "Amaya spends most of her time with you, she reflects who you are". I was happy about that, I was glad my daughter being almost 12 didn't and doesn't reflect her peers or celebrities. But wait a minute, she reflects me. This means I hold such a huge responsibility to carry out my christian walk in more then just words. We all do if you ask me whether we have kids or not. The fact though, that 24-7 I am a living example of Christ and I need to be who I want my children to be.

If I myself spend time with Jesus then they eventually will too, if I love others then they eventually will too. If I cuss then they eventually will too, if I speak words of hate and gossip then they eventually will too. Does this make sense!?

Our kids are a reflection of who we are whether we want to agree with that or not. This is part of the reason I love to home school/disciple my children. Yes, they drive me nuts sometimes and I'd like to just hide some moments and yes financially we could appreciate more money but I know that these years go by way too fast. So quickly that I don't want to sacrifice their years where they are sponges and gleaning and learning from me and others.

Sweet friends kids are work! You won't reap a healthy harvest from your work if you never plow at the soil or plant the right seeds. Don't give up though and don't grow weary because you don't labor in vain for what a man sows he will surely reap.

Guess what... We get to decide what we sow! So plow away and plant in your own christian walk as well as into the little ones who are gleaning behind you ☺