Sweetly Broken

If I were to tell you that serving the Lord has been a walk in the park I'd be lying. However, I must tell you that choosing to follow after His will daily is the best choice that I have ever made.

There have been moments on this journey the past 7 years where I felt like I was not going to make it. The heart surgery that the Lord was taking me through seemed to hard to bare and yet I sit here writing on this blog declaring His goodness even through the darkest moments of my life.

My heart was broken when my family broke a part, I truly thought I would spend the rest of my life with my husband. It's crazy to think that just 4 years ago  I walked through the biggest storm of my life a day and days to come after where I felt as if I couldn't get up and walk or even function. My heart was broken, I was broken... How could these plans of mine have failed. Surely the Lords goodness was going to put my plans back together again. To my surprise He didn't. As a matter of fact the days and weeks to come and even that year got harder and harder and my heart didn't seem to feel any better.

People and their opinions and advice only made me more and more bitter and angry as if they really knew what I was going through. During that time that I was broken the Lord was still doing a good work, as a matter of fact the best work that could have ever happened to me. I realized that the Lord had allowed my brokenness to bring me and my life to a place of complete surrender and submission. I was learning what it was like to be sweetly broken wholly surrendered. Being honest there were plenty of days I didn't feel his hand over me and there were days I felt depressed and miserable but because feelings are just fickle I knew deep within He was there. That storm that had flooded my life was bigger then I probably seen and that was because He never left me during the most difficult times. He remained my source of breathe when I couldn't breathe and the moments I couldn't get up off of my knees He was the one who gave me the strength to get back up and continue walking...

Friend we do not ever know why the Lord calls us to certain things or allows us to go through hardship but what we do know is that He is using it all for His glory and our good. I can not sit here and say that I know exactly why He allowed me to go through that storm but what I do know is He has turned all of it for good. 4 months after my family was broken the Lord gave me my life scripture of Genesis 50:20 He told me that He had always and would always have angels ascending and descending on my behalf and He told me that He was going to use my brokenness for His glory and my good and sweet friends He surely has!

Maybe as you read this you are thinking of the great storm that you are in right now and you find yourself wondering "why?" May I just encourage you to keep your faith. Even when you can not see or feel Him I want you to know He is there, He has been there and He will ALWAYS be there! Think of Joseph who did nothing wrong and yet he was sold into slavery by his own brothers and then thrown into a prison cell for years. He did nothing to deserve what he had to face and yet the Lord is sovereign and all knowing and those trials and the suffering he endured were not in vain. God had a plan and just like He had a plan for the life of Joseph He also has a great plan for you and I. Friend, would you say today  regardless of what is to come that you will choose to follow after the heart of God!