A Beautiful Mess

I wish I was the perfect mother. The one who's house is always spotless. The one who can make everything on Pinterest. The one who never forgets a Dr's appointment. The one whose kids have matching socks on all the time, the one who makes it to every school event and helps out every time they say they need a volunteer. That's just not me. I am the mom who's bedroom is a mess because I am too tired at night to clean it, I am the mom whose kids socks don't match because I am too tired to pair every sock and then those darn socks run away. I am also the mom who has so much on her mind I forget my son had a Dr's appointment. So then when I get an email to volunteer I just pray other moms sign up to fill the spots. Yup that's me...

Honestly lately I feel like a broken mess. Wondering how could anyone ever love me besides God because I know He loves me. I've laid in bed countless times and balled my eyes out hoping my kids can't hear. I utter "lord I need you" just about 100 times a day (no joke).

If I may can I be real with you.. Yes, I love homeschooling and there is a sense of peace here in Gods will but friends it is hard. I have to be the teacher and the mom. Then sometimes I even have to be the principal when the two little ones choose to come to class with an attitude or stubborn heart. I am also the lunch lady and at this school we serve breakfast lunch and dinner :-) so you see sometimes I get tired and grow weary. I often ask "what in the world am I thinking being a single mom and homeschooling, these little turkeys don't even care...."

And then, God shows me a glimpse of their heart. Although my stubborn kids are turkeys at times they are also a work in progress. The bible says that when a child is fully trained he is as great as his teacher. Guess that means I am my kids' teacher. I am the one who influences them and shows them the way. So when our family is having a rough season and moms pillow cases are a bit more damp, it's the best to have your daughter (in whom you just disciplined) come lay hands on you and pray in Jesus Name. Then my sweet girl leaves me the flower in this picture... So I guess Even in the midst of a mess God is still blessing my family.

This was written from the depths of my heart and if you today feel like me an imperfect mother and a huge mess just surrender it to God. Offer up your entire messy self because God always makes things beautiful! You are a beautiful mess!